from now on my penis is your penis
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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