If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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