Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
