Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be right there i have to get my cape
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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