Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
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He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
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You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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