worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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