How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
