i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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