I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
