allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
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