last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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