I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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