corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
