Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize