My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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