My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
