I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
