I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Randomize
