I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
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I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
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He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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