thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
