On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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