Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize