Can Purell be used as lube?
Someone shit on the floor
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks