He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.