Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.