And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window