found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that