I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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