3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
