so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
