is wine microwaveable?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
