What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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