I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
