she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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