if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
