So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
