I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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