i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize