there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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