NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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