How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
