Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
its not stalking. its research.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
