I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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