Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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