Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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