I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
