I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
we made out on top of his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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