the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
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I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
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How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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