At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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