hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
