What did we do last night that was yellow?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
