I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
