Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
