people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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