East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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