I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
