I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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