Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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