apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
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