You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
