in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
