If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize